Mentor Training Mentoring is about learning and following 1. The pattern for mentoring Jesus’ plan was clear - From the start of His ministry Jesus placed great emphasis on investing His life in a few men who showed the characteristics that would allow Jesus to entrust His work to them “He appointed twelve … that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach” (Mark 3:14) He had a clear understanding of His calling. He was sent to be the Saviour of the world. He began gathering a group of men around Him before He had preached one sermon! He did not neglect the crowd but invested in the smaller group The latter part of His life and ministry He especially set aside time with His disciples. WHAT IS A DISCIPLE (mentoree)? The word ‘mathetes’ means a learner, student, or pupil. Ways it is used in the NT: John 9:28 “we are Moses' disciples.” Mark 2:18 “Some people came and asked Jesus, ‘How is it that John's disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees are fasting, but yours are not?’ ” Luke 6:40 “A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.” John 8:31 “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Luke 14:26-27 "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. "And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” John 13:35 “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” John 15:8 “This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 6:66 “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.” If Jesus, the Son of God and unparalleled teacher thought it necessary to be selective and invest in a few, how much more we? He staked His whole ministry on a few “unlearned and ignorant…” He invested in them through: Close association High expectation Perfect demonstration Gradual delegation “make disciples” (Matt 28:18) is not a command to evangelise! Discipleship begins with repentance and faith and ends when the believer is mature and complete in Christ. “Go, baptise, teach” are not imperatives, they support the one imperative: “make disciples” (Greek – the main verb = disciple). In other words, we are commanded to make disciples, and we do this by going, baptizing and teaching others to observe all Jesus taught and commanded PAUL: “…not hesitated to proclaim … whole will of God” (Acts 20:27) “And the things you have heard… entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Tim 2:2) “… until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Eph 4:12) “… our prayer is for your maturity” (2 Cor 13:9) 2. The principles behind mentoring Mentoring is the process whereby a person enters into an intentional supportive and learning relationship with another, with the view of transferring his/her knowledge, wisdom and resources to help that person reach his/her goals, and to thereby maximize their potential in Christ Jesus. The principle of assisting another’s growth to maturity Discipleship = truth + relationship. We are to come alongside another believer and help them grow to maturity. Give yourself and give the Word. M odel what you teach (life transference) {see list of characteristics below} E xhort, encourage and equip (accountability expected – being held responsible) N urture growth and spiritual development (patience, flexibility and grace) T ransparent and completely open (not afraid to share personal failures / struggles) Jim Peterson (Navigators) “The single most important principle in discipling another person is to be transparent … Don’t be afraid to let the cracks show” O ffers him/herself and his/her resources R ecognises the mentoree’s potential and encourages and guides towards reaching it. Goals of mentoring: l. To establish the mentoree in the Word of God (grounded and balanced) Encountering God in His Word Understanding God’s Word Applying God’s Word ll. To establish the mentoree in the life of the church (fellowship and ministry) Relational skills Connectedness to life of church (prayer and pastoral care) Development and use of spiritual gift(s) Leadership training lll. To establish the mentoree in the mission of the church (evangelism / mission and discipleship) Personal involvement in evangelism Development of awareness and support of missions The principle of life transference Jesus chose his disciples “to be with Him” – to let His life rub off on them, not go through a curriculum. His call was for them to follow. The essence of discipleship to Jesus is literally and simply to follow Him in order to become like Him (What we are is the issue, not what we do) He is the pattern, so we are to let a person into our lives to the extent that our values, our commitment, our love, our integrity, and our sincerity RUBS OFF! This requires transparency and honesty – vulnerability – walking together! The disciples of Jesus saw Him in formal and informal settings They observed His response to serious situations They watched as Jesus was under pressure as well as when He was relaxed. Paul 1 Cor 11:1 “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” 1 Thess 2:8 “we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well” 1 Tim 4:12 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity” The principle of carefronting This is a kind way of confronting the mentoree – addressing a concern that the mentor has in the mentoree’s life Affirm the relationship (history, trust, genuine care, belief in them) Select the right time and place, and pray for openness to what you share Carefully present the objective you have in carefronting them Share your concern in a spirit of meekness and grace 3. The practical side of mentoring Choosing a person Look for those with a desire to grow Jesus’ disciples were all regarded as nobodies (except perhaps Judas Iscariot) What was it about them that the Lord saw? They were men of faith – took God at His word – sincerity They were teachable – pliable and open to what Jesus … They were loyal – stayed true to their convictions (faithful) They were willing to follow – left their nets / taxation business Matt 4:18 – IMMEDIATELY … also Luke 5:27 (Levi) LOOK FOR those who are: Submissive to the Lordship of Christ, Hungry for God’s Word Wanting to grow in holiness Motivated to know God more Longing for God to use them Showing a love for others. God is the matchmaker – look for a kindred spirit See their potential Simon Peter – impetuous, undisciplined John and James – sons of thunder! Matthew – tax collector Thomas – skeptic and melancholic Simon the Zealot was not a safe choice! – for suspician / disunity and extremism Judas Iscariot was the one who seemed most suitable! Commencing a mentor relationship Start with a one month trial. Share your life stories Build trust through both sharing life stories. The mentoree’s story provides for deeper understanding of the person. It gives an indication of the key issues in the mentoree’s life. The level of vulnerability gives an indication of the desire of the disciple for growth, accountability and development. Make a covenant / mutual commitment Make a covenant / commitment, and talk through expectations of the mentor relationship as viewed by each party – confidentiality, accountability and time (the commitment to meet regularly is essential - renew or cease at end of 12 months). Determine objectives An objective is a statement of intent. Objectives are developed from the disciple’s issues, desires, roles and goals. These are documented and become the basis of the mentoring relationship. Objectives belong to the mentoree (mentor can only prompt, suggest and encourage) Many already have objectives (even subconscious) Sources of objectives – the mentoree’s life purpose, key roles (parent/church leader/husband or wife etc.), character development (see list below), ministry training, and witness. SMART goals (by Paul Meyer): S pecific M easurable A ttainable R ealistic T angible Tailor your teaching Don’t impose your style of Christianity onto your mentoree – legalism Uniqueness – you are to be you! Keep them accountable Devotional Time Prayer Scripture memory Relationships in church and home Witnessing The Components of a mentor relationship Journey together working on issues based on objectives. Support – The mentor supports and nurtures the disciple through the stages of life and ministry development. Accountability – The mentor holds the disciple to account for commitments made. Development – The mentor is committed to the development of the mentoree in his / her life goals and roles. Prayer – The mentor prays for the mentoree Resources – The mentor networks the mentoree into new relationships and provides opportunities for her / his growth. Exercises – The mentor set exercises for the mentoree GOALS AND PRIORITIES Review your life before the Lord, and set down in priority order the goals that you wish to pursue during the next year. Make each goal specific, measurable and achievable. A. B. C. 1. Now list one or two strategies, means, steps, commitments that you will be taking to reach the above goals. How will you achieve goal A? 1. 2. 3. How will you achieve goal B? 1. 2. 3. How will you achieve goal C? 1. 2. 3. SOME CHARACTER TRAITS CONTRASTED Mark from 1 to 5 (1 = no need for change, 5 = change is really needed) ENTHUSIASM APATHY BOLDNESS FEARFULNESS CONTENTMENT COVETOUSNESS DECISIVENESS DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS COMPASSION INDIFFERENCE THOROUGHNESS INCOMPLETENESS DILIGENCE SLOTHFULNESS SELF-CONTROL SELF-INDULGENCE INITIATIVE UNRESPONSIVENESS PATIENCE RESTLESSNESS PUNCTUALITY HABIT OF BEING LATE HUMILITY PRIDE GENTLENESS HARSHNESS ENDURANCE GIVING UP EASILY DEPENDABILITY INCONSISTENCY FLEXABILITY RESISTANCE AVAILABILITY SELF-CENTREDNESS SINCERITY HYPOCRISY LOYALTY UNFAITHFULNESS DETERMINATION FAINT-HEARTEDNESS JOYFULNESS SELF-PITY FORGIVENESS REJECTION TOLERANCE PREJUDICE CREATIVITY UNDER-ACHIEVEMENT CAUTIOUSNESS RASHNESS SENSITIVITY CALLOUSNESS MEEKNESS ANGER FAIRNESS PARTIALITY SECURITY ANXIETY GRATEFULNESS UNTHANKFULNESS ORDERLINESS DISORGANISATION GENEROSITY STINGINESS RESOURCEFULNESS WASTEFULNESS RESPONSIBILITY UNRELIABILITY VIRTUE IMPURITY (MIND OR ACTIONS) REPECT DISRESPECT VISION SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS GIVING OUT KEEPING Next >